apart ment truthes

i have a cricket. it lives behind the wall of my bedroom and sings to me. i think it is lonely.

i haven't been outside in almost two days. i think i am lonely.

everything that falls on my tiled floor shatters into a million pieces.

i really need to decide where i'll be in september ...

CUFF THE DUKE CD release. Lee's Palace. $10. Sep 9
SUFJAN STEVENS Trinity St Paul's, 427 Bloor W. $20 at SS. Sep 10
THE NATIONAL Horseshoe. $10 at SS. Sep 18
SIGUR RÓS Massey Hall. Sep 19
BOY Horseshoe. $TBA. Sep 24
MIA Phoenix. $TBA. Sep 26
INTERPOL Kool Haus. $30 at SS. Sep 28
TED LEO/PHARMACISTS Mod Club. $15 at SS. Sep 29 .. 7pm
THE DECEMBERISTS Phoenix. $17.50 at SS. Oct 13

asiabound...

i'm off to asia next week!! a week and a half in Penang, Malaysia; followed by a week and a bit in Suzhou, China. tres stoked!! ten days of work, ten days of play ... all on the company dime, of course ... i know, i'm a lucky b*st*rd ...

happy v. brilliant

can you recommend some songs that are both happy and brilliant?
(i.e. not cheesy / not superficial / not your favourite song becuase you remember drinking to it with your friends outside in the sun somewhere....)
true passion .... true love, trapped in time ....

i used marijuana to open my heart ... that's something that has been missing lately; the open heart ...
i know that i have the tools to 'improve my lot' in this regard ... that was one of the reasons i shared the previous entry with you ....
i need to find the inspiration ... the courage ... (the energy?)

amends

"Every day for at least ten years together did my father resolve to have it mended; 'tis not mended yet. No family but ours would have borne with it an hour, and what is most astonishing, there was not a subject in the world upon which my father was so eloquent as upon that of door-hinges. And yet, at the same time, he was certainly one of the greatest bubbles to them, I think, that history can produce; his rhetoric and conduct were at perpetual handy-cuffs. Never did the parlour door open but his philosophy or his principles fell a victim to it; three drops of oil and a feather, and a smart stroke of the hammer, had saved his honour for ever.

Inconsistent soul that man is; languishing under wounds which he has the power to heal; his whole life a contradiction to his knowledge; his reason, that precious gift of god to him (instead of pouring in oil), serving but to sharpen his sensibilities, to multiply his pains, and render him more melancholy and uneasy under them! Poor unhappy creature, that he should do so! Are not the necessary causes of misery in this life enough, but he must add voluntary ones to his stock of sorrow? Struggle against evils which cannot be avoided, and submit to others which a tenth part of the trouble they create him would remove from his heart for ever.

By all that is good and virtuous, if there are three drops of oil to be got and a hammer to be found within then miles of Shandy Hall, the parlour door-hinge shall be mended this reign."

~Tristram Shandy, by Laurence Sterne (as quoted by E.M. Forster in Aspects of the Novel)

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Ditzy Alchemist. Where You Lived: France. How You Died: Dysentery.

listening to tori...

i think there are pieces of me you’ve never seen
maybe she’s just pieces of me you’ve never seen...

all the world is
all I am
the black of the the blackest ocean
and that tear in your hand
all the world is dangling for me darlin'
you don’t know the power you have
with that tear in your hand
that tear in your hand

dot dot dot

extra time
spare change
measurements deranged
off the rails
my rocker! wails:
experience
feel!
peel back the masks
but never fail
and what of now
my dreams without
i gasp for air
(they silent stare)
begin again
but now aware